back to blogging... feel so under stress these few days... dont know how to deal with it... should i just follow what my heart says and ignore **** or should i... ? damm this thing! never like having stress. what am i suppose to do now? who can i talk to? who can i trust? omg.. seriously hate my life... i'm never the girl who can have a happy family.. i'm never the girl who people will like, i'm also not the girl that is smart... just seriously... fml... 

i just want to thank goh fu for trying your best to change... i can see that you are trying to put in effort... i can really feel that you have been giving in alot already... i'm really sorry for the way i handle stuff like just running away and make you worried. i'm just a useless coward... i'm not independent at all. i'm not strong at all. i'm totally helpless now... just let myself fall deeper now without having the determination to go on. i dont know what right or whats wrong anymore. fuck this... i've never felt so in despair before. 

nvm... just forget it.. i dont wanna think about it anymore....